No More Monkey Business (because monkey bars are for kids)

So I finally decided to take the bull by the horns, and face my body issues straight on. I decided that I could no longer give into the couch and TV. My scale has always betrayed me, but my mirror does not lie. I am not yet willing however to give up on the foods I love. This being said, I decided to embark on a trek to better health; Which means I will be getting up off that couch and exercising. Like all good intentioned exercise programs, I started on Monday. My Monday routine was 30 minutes on my moms old "twisty" machine. I felt so good that I also incorporated a few arm curls using water bottles as weights (a tip I learned from my Good Things Utah audience appearance). On Tuesday I decided to take advantage of the good weather and bust out of the house with the kids. Landon did the scooter and I did all I could to keep up as we picked Parker up from school, and repeated the process coming home. Still feeling great, I had the whole family go up to the park where we played. Mike noted that I was short enough that I could probably do the monkey bars just like the kids. That was a challenge! Of course I had to give it a try. Well, folks, lets just say that you don't see fat old ladies on monkey bars for a reason. Monkey bars are for kids, not fat old ladies. This is a simple fact that has everything to do with weight distribution. Every last millimeter of fat is felt as you hang from your finger tips, gripping for dear life. I also discovered the law of inertia. Your body falls harder and faster to the ground just after every muscle you haven't used for 30 years from your shoulder to your lower back is stretched to the lengths that they should never be pulled, and can no longer support your aging body.

Sore, but not beaten I retreated home to the comforts of my massage chair, and a mini Twix.